Posted on Leave a comment

Sexual Creativity and the GSP

Sexual Creativity

 Sexual Creativity and the GSP

two lady love sesh

A participant at the Graphic Sex Project wrote me to say making a graph inspired them to think of other different and creative ideas to express their sexuality. This made me so happy! Success! I really believe the Project helps you harness your creativity as a powerful way to realize a more fulfilling sex life.
Just look at the “two-lady love sesh” above: an artistic endeavor is their foreplay.
Good sex is itself a creative endeavor – and I don’t mean biologically pro-creative. Being a good lover is so much about thinking of new ways to give and receive. You are listening to your partner’s body and responding creatively with your own – such a dance of pleasure. How can you touch them in a different way than you have before? What subtle shift will cause more pleasure? What rhythm will bring your bodies in a more perfect synchronization? 
It’s paying attention to now, not simply doing what you’ve always done before. It’s improvisational.
The combination of your mouth, your fingers, the heel of your hand, the pressure of an elbow, the slide of a leg, the genitalia – all are instruments in a  symphony you are playing on their body, and they on yours.
So if it is creative, then it makes sense that all kinds of creativity can speak to the sexual experience, and become a tool for a deeper understanding of your desires. You create the connections in your brain. If you make art and think about sex – then when you have sex that art becomes a reference. 
Haven’t you danced to a song you love and it made you feel sexy? Same thing. The Graphic Sex Project connects your creative brain to sexual brain. How else can you wake up your creative/sexual spirit?
Deepak Chopra famously said “Creativity is ultimately sexual.” Sex is clearly the inspiration for a lot of creative output, but I’m suggesting the opposite: that creativity with  can inspire sex. As long as you are thinking about sex while you are being creative.
Write a poem about sex. Take arty pictures of your partner’s skin. Draw your partner. Draw your genitals. Write an erotic short story. Paint the flow of your love-making. Improvise music to your partner masturbating. 
Here’s a cool idea. Alexander Esguerra and Tyler Peters make art by covering lovers bodies with paint (non-toxic) and putting them on a canvas to have sex. 
Get the Magnetic Graphic Sex Kit and play with the colored squares and words. Each time you play, are making a piece of art and inspiring your next sexual encounter. 
Posted on Leave a comment

Looking, Inspecting, Noticing

Pre-Sex Inspection and OM 

Here’s a pretty graph, made at one of my workshops by 23 year old queer female. Isn’t it interesting that it starts out with Inspection? I’m not totally sure what she means by that. It could be inspection to determine if the person’s genitals look STI-free: but that is not at all a reliable way to do it. Much better to go ahead and ask them. A pre-sex safe-sex discussion is always a good idea, letting each other know when you were last tested.

Or is inspection just a moment to really look at each other, admire each other’s equipment, a way to say “I see you,” an acknowledgement?

This is done in the technique of orgasmic meditation, which is worth reading more about if your interests include both meditation and sex.  One person strokes the clitoris of another person for 15 minutes, in one very specific way: on the upper-left quadrant in an up and down motion with the pressure you would use stroking an eyelid. That’s it. After 15 minutes the experience is over. Healthline has a good description of the practice and why people do it (hint: because it’s meditative).

There’s a very specific series of steps (which the creators, One Taste, call “non-negotiable). After the building of the “nest,” and assuming a very specific position in relation to each other, the “stroker” puts their hands on the “strokee’s thighs and does the “noticing step” as follows:  “The noticing step consists of a one or two sentence value-neutral (in terms of shape, color, location, texture, etc) physical description of some aspect of the strokee’s genitals. The etiquette is simply for the strokee to acknowledge this observation by saying “thank you” afterwards.” (From One Taste website)

That might not be at all what Laura meant by inspection, but I think it’s worth thinking about the noticing and the inspection. You might also call it witnessing. Witnessing the other person’s humanity, their body, their beauty, exactly as they are before you in this moment. It’s a way of bringing yourself into this moment with this other person, a kind of ritualistic way of beginning. You are here now. I am here now. Let us begin.