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Looking, Inspecting, Noticing

Pre-Sex Inspection and OM 

Here’s a pretty graph, made at one of my workshops by 23 year old queer female. Isn’t it interesting that it starts out with Inspection? I’m not totally sure what she means by that. It could be inspection to determine if the person’s genitals look STI-free: but that is not at all a reliable way to do it. Much better to go ahead and ask them. A pre-sex safe-sex discussion is always a good idea, letting each other know when you were last tested.

Or is inspection just a moment to really look at each other, admire each other’s equipment, a way to say “I see you,” an acknowledgement?

This is done in the technique of orgasmic meditation, which is worth reading more about if your interests include both meditation and sex.  One person strokes the clitoris of another person for 15 minutes, in one very specific way: on the upper-left quadrant in an up and down motion with the pressure you would use stroking an eyelid. That’s it. After 15 minutes the experience is over. Healthline has a good description of the practice and why people do it (hint: because it’s meditative).

There’s a very specific series of steps (which the creators, One Taste, call “non-negotiable). After the building of the “nest,” and assuming a very specific position in relation to each other, the “stroker” puts their hands on the “strokee’s thighs and does the “noticing step” as follows:  “The noticing step consists of a one or two sentence value-neutral (in terms of shape, color, location, texture, etc) physical description of some aspect of the strokee’s genitals. The etiquette is simply for the strokee to acknowledge this observation by saying “thank you” afterwards.” (From One Taste website)

That might not be at all what Laura meant by inspection, but I think it’s worth thinking about the noticing and the inspection. You might also call it witnessing. Witnessing the other person’s humanity, their body, their beauty, exactly as they are before you in this moment. It’s a way of bringing yourself into this moment with this other person, a kind of ritualistic way of beginning. You are here now. I am here now. Let us begin.